Missing BITH

Sometimes I just miss Ball In The House...

Songs written by JonJ have always been my favorites:

"Is this heart of mine
Just wasting time
On something it can't change?"

-So Long, So Far


But it's Stephen's voice that made me see them a second time...

"I wanna take a picture
One of you and me
So when this time has passed
I'll remember you and how it used to be
Only a moment to catch that feeling
I'll put that memory away 'cuz it won't come back."

-Picture

And it really couldn't get any better than when you put both together...

I think its time I told you just what Ive been thinking
I feel I'm being held back
You see its hard because my thoughts are so one-sided
It's only answers that I lack
You take all that you want and leave the broken pieces
But my heart has no seams
You must know, I mean, as least as much as I do
What the black hole really means

The more that I say, oh, the less that I know
The more that I feel, I don't know where to go
The more that I do, you just turn away
Now, I have nothing more to say

You made you mind up, but you made it sure I dont know
Oh, which way I should turn
I wish youd get out of that mess that's up in my head
I wish that I could just learn...

The more that I say, oh, the less that I know
The more that I feel, I don't know where to go
The more that I do, you just turn away
Now, I have nothing more to say

-The More That I Say

Some Quotes

Here are some quotes from movies, songs and whatever - that I like...

"The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left behind by those who got there first." - Unknown

Lelaina: I was really gonna be something by the age of 23.
Troy: Honey, the only thing you have to be by the age of 23 is yourself.
Lelaina: I don’t know who that is anymore.
Troy: I do. And we all love her. I love her. She breaks my heart again and again but I love her.
- Reality Bites

"If you want to know the truth, you make or break my day."
- The Truth, David Cook

Mike: I told Worm you can't lose what you don't put in the middle. But you can't win much either.
- Rounders

Mark: Imagine... A fucking political hag being in charge of free speech in America. I bet Watts was the guy who took names at high school when the teacher was absent.

-Pump Up The volume

Penny Lane: "Groupies" sleep with rock stars because they want to be near someone famous. We are here because of the music. We are Band Aids.

- Almost Famous

OK - that's it for now... Hope this stirs some fun memories/thoughts for you :)

Say by John Mayer

I love this song... Obviously, I deleted the repeats of "Say What You Need To Say" - but I think we all still get the idea... My fave part in bold, italics. :)

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems
Better put them in quotations
Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead
If you could only
Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say what you need to say...

Bradford to Bibles

OK - as most of you know, I am not a religious person. It isn't that I don't have faith, or believe in a higher being/power - I just don't understand some aspects of religion. I struggle with the minutiae that occupies some religious affiliations. I also struggle with anything that seems to completely envelope a person's life. For some, it appears to be an obsession that often doesn't allow for free thinking, free expression and focuses too much on conversion and placation.

Bradford College was a wonderful institution that praised individuality, spirit, creativity, knowledge and a service to community. Naturally, as a product of that system - those are things that I value and respect. Bradford's motto was "Surgo ut Prosim" - "I rise (so) that I may serve." At Bradford we were taught that service is not only for the faithful, or those like us - but that we could help, educate, entertain or find a common ground with any person, no matter their faith, orientation or life choice.

Based on my research and what I saw this past weekend at Bradford, this is not the intent of the Zion Bible College. While the president appeared to be a gentle, caring man - I couldn't help but feel very sad when he said that Denworth Hall - which housed our beautiful theater and dance studio - was going to be gutted. It did not seem to phase him in the slightest (other than the 3M it will cost) that they would be steamrolling such a beautiful place. He indicated that they will be turning it into a prayer center. Wow... I do not understand why they cannot just add on to/renovate the existing chapel. They could rent the theatre building or bring in a dance company in residence. They could make some money on it... funding for their missions.

Then I started to do some research - theater, dance and other means of expression are not always 'ok' in the evangelical faiths. Check out this site: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Books,%20Tracts%20&%20Preaching/Printed%20Sermons/Billy%20Sunday/theater_cards_dance-billy_sunday.htm

It made me nauseous. Period.

With that said - I don't think that this school is exactly as extreme in belief as what is written in the link above, but I have yet to find anything that convinces me otherwise. Here's an excerpt from the ZBC student handbook:

"There is a dress code for class attendance, chapel attendance, and leisure time.[7] Class attire includes a collared shirt and slacks for males and conservative business casual attire for females. Female students may not wear pants that have back pockets with exterior stitching or flaps. On personal time, modest pants and shirts can be worn, but shorts and skirts must extend to below the knee. Students are also asked to refrain from wearing sweat pants, spandex pants, tank tops, muscle shirts, body rings, tattoos, form-fitting clothing, and sleeveless shirts. Males may not wear earrings and females may not wear multiple or dangling earrings. Hair is expected to be groomed and neat in appearance. Men’s haircuts must be trimmed and not longer than the top of a conventional shirt collar. The dress code is monitored daily by the faculty and staff for compliance. Any student who is found to be non-compliant is required to change their clothing before being allowed to attend class, chapel, or school functions and may be fined by the Resident Director or Resident Assistants."

This is what I mean by minutiae. I realize looking presentable is important, so the business casual look makes sense to me... But then it starts getting weird, no sweatpants (what do they sleep in then? what if they are forced out the building because of a fire alarm?); specifics about hairstyles and grooming (would my curly hair not be accepted? or need to be 'tamed'?); earrings vs. no earrings vs. multiple earrings vs. dangling earrings...

The way I see it - the higher being that one chooses to believe in probably doesn't give a crap about how many earrings you have and whether or not they dangle. I would like to believe that as long as I have faith and am a good person - that other stuff doesn't matter in the eyes of God, Allah or whoever the person 'worships'. As a side note, I would also like to believe that God wouldn't give us the ability to paint, or dance or make music - things that we all can find so beautiful - unless He or She also believed in it's beauty.

So - my beloved Bradford, now belongs to a religious community that I hope will grow to love the buildings and the beauty of the entire campus, they way I did (do?). From the crazy squirrels, to the cranky ghosts; the crunch of the leaves in fall or the snow in winter - it can truly be a wondrous place. I hope that THIS will become our common ground.

Always in my heart - the REAL Bradford, where Daring to be Different was praised and embraced.

AI Pics

AI pics are on my MySpace page as of today. Again, only people on my friends list can see them (email me if you want to see them and aren't on MySpace). Friends - feel free to tag the photos, or copy them to your own folders, but please do not edit them. That would just be rude.

THANKS and Enjoy!!!

Tek

OK - so someone once told me that they had it on pretty good authority that Jason Varitek is a 'switch hitter'. And not in the baseball sense of the term. People always said, 'no, no, no - he's married, yadda, yadda, blah, blah'.

Tek and his wife filed for divorce about 2 weeks ago. Hmm.

My Idols Story

So... Those of you who know me, know how addicted to this show I am. Well, from Hollywood week on... I refuse to watch the first rounds of auditions, merely on principle. I think it is awful that the producers feel the need to show the ridiculous auditions. I don't think it is funny, it actually just makes me really anxious to watch them... Anyway - I digress.

On Saturday, I made the trek to Wistah to the DCU Center to see the AI tour. (Laugh all you want, I went last year too!) Overall the concert was what I expected - the people that were good on the show were good in concert; the people that sucked - still suck. Here's what stood out:

Michael Johns and David Cook are the only TRUE rock stars on this tour. BOTH of them rocked the house. Michael Johns performed We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions, It's All Wrong, But It's All Right and Dream On. David Cook did Hello, Time of My Life, My Hero, Billy Jean and Don't Wanna Miss A Thing. Carly Smithson held her own with Bring Me to Life, Crazy On You and Drove All Night - and would round out my top three performers of the night... Also, the only ones I took pictures with...

Yeah. That's right. Went to the after show meet and greet. But Jen, what's the difference? That would be no barriers, no lines and only about 40 other people to compete with when trying to meet and greet the Idols. I know that they also did M&G's before the shows - but this one seemed much more personal, you could actually walk around - talk to whomever you wanted, take pics with them, etc.

(Before I go on - I have to thank Kara, had it not been for her - I wouldn't have gotten this opportunity!! LOVE YOU K.G.!!)

Continuing... Kara and I scoped and worked the room pretty much together. First stop - Michael Johns. Funny guy. Seemed to really enjoy doing pics and talking to people and as I have said - as long as he is talking, he is fine by me. Got a pic of me and MJ and one of Kara and MJ. Mission #1. Complete.

Mission #2. David Cook. (FYI - the only reason he wasn't Mission #1 is because MJ had less people around him when we got into the room). So, David Cook... I took Kara's pic with him first, then we swapped. Before she took the pic, Kara says to him, "I just have to let you know, she is your BIGGEST fan." (Somewhat embarassing but totally worth it because...) DC then says, "Well in THAT case," and sticks his Sharpie Marker in his left nostril, and puts his arm around me. The picture is PRICELESS. Then we took a normal one. DC and I talked a few more times as we were working the room, and though he declined my request to photograph his tattoo (really, I was just being an artsy fartsy photographer) - he was super nice and super honest about it. Whatever - it was still SO great to talk to him...

Mission #3. Pic of me and Carly for Frank. Kara went to talk to the AI drummer (who is apparently the SHIZ-NIT in the drumming world) and I waited to do the pic with Carly. Again, she was super nice and I was totally mesmerized by her eyes. Some random guy and I traded off cameras - I took his pic, he took mine and done. After he took the pic, he looked at the back to see how it came out - but OHHHH, Jen's bitching camera is not a digital (only because the digital version would be about $1200) - so when I said that, Carly said - ahh, it's better anyway (in her super cool Irish accent). So - she was VERY sweet and not really as tall as I thought she was...

In fact, NONE of them really were - Archuleta looked like a midget, Brooke was only a few inches taller than me, and Ramiele was shorter than Kara (trust me, there is a pic to prove it!).

Other happenings... No one was talking to Jason Castro when we walked in the room - and we still went and waited for MJ. Not that I didn't like him, I just had missions to tackle first. By the time we were done - he was gone... as was Chikeze (kind of bummed about that one) and Kristy Lee Cook - whatever. She's cute and will do well in the country world - but I was not that interested. So - I didn't get any pics of KL Cook, Chikeze, Castro, Syesha or Brooke - though Kara did tell her that her fly was down... Kind of funny. Took some at a distance candids of MJ, DC and Archuleta... Another funny - David Archuleta was sigining stuff and Kara and I were like, 'where's his Dad?' And as if those were magic words - Daddy appeared out of nowhere. Yeah - I totally got a pic of him too.

That was pretty much it... It was a ton of fun! My only regret, not thinking to tell David Cook how much I love his Analog Heart CD, especially The Truth. Oh well. Oh and for the record - I didn't turn red. At all. So there.

Catch you all soon...
(Pics to be added to http://www.myspace.com/dancergirl278 in the next few days... If you aren't my friend on there - you won't be able to see the pics... Sorry!!!)

Things That Matter

So - here's my latest rant...

I was at Shopper's World, waiting to pull into a spot marked, "Compact Cars Only" - when a Mercedes SUV cut me off and took the spot. I was there first. They are not a compact car. Does anyone else see why I was annoyed? I just don't get it. So - I told the driver that I was pretty sure that she wasn't driving a compact car. Some OTHER person chimed in and said, "didn't you know that SUV drivers have their own rules?" THEN. The driver says, "Jealous?" Umm, what? So my response was, "Did you see my car??? And besides, I wouldn't EVER be jealous of an inconsiderate bitch who drives a gas guzzler." Then I walked into Old Navy to engage in some retail therapy...

Brithdays. I love them. I do my best to remember everyone's bday. Mostly, I try to send an email, a card or a small gift. Others get one BIG gift. Some may even get a myriad of gifts that I couldn't resist getting because they screamed that person's name. Clearly, I love giving presents and IMO, bdays are the best reason.

What I don't love is people who don't say "Thank You". That's it. Two words. It doesn't need to be anything else. Tell me thank you. AND MEAN IT. Don't just say the words to say them. Whenever someone goes out of their way for me - birthday, Christmas, any day - I ALWAYS say thank you. (For the record, I don't do things to be thanked - I just think it is how one should respond to niceties and generosities).

Forgetfullness... I am not sure what to say about this. It bugs me. So in short, if someone matters to you - you shouldn't forget them... or important things about them. Plans that are made, birthdays, things that matter to them... And if you have a bad memory - buy a planner, or a diary or something that will help you remember these things. Something that matters to me, follow through.

Follow through kind of ties into the last thing - if you say you'll call... then CALL. If you promise to love them forever - then do it. If you swear that you are BFF - then BE BFF. So many people don't realize that THEY have the ability to control THEIR actions - in fact, it is truly the ONLY thing we all have REAL control over. Use it.

OK - I think I am done for today... Hope that you are all well. Hugs and love...